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【困了你睡在我身上,我睡在一粒发芽的草籽上】
【一片叶子下生活】
【文 刘亮程】
小红,这是别人的田野,有一条埂子让我们走路,一渠沟清水让你洗手濯足,没有一小块地,播自己的种子,收自己的苞谷麦子。
可是,如果我们要求不高,一片叶子下安置一生的日子。花粉佐餐,露水茶饮,左邻一只叫花姑娘的甲壳虫,右邻两只忙忙碌碌的褐黄蚂蚁。在这样的秋天,各种粮食的香味弥漫在空气里,粥一样稠浓的西北风,喝一口便饱了肚子。
我会让你喜欢上这样的日子,生生世世跟我过下去。叶子下怀孕,叶子上面产子。我让你一次生七八个孩子。他们三两天便长大成人,到另一片叶子下过自己的生活。我们不计划生育,只计划好用多久时间,让田野上到处是我们的孩子。他们接受阳光和风的教育,在露水和花粉里领受我们的全部旨意。
小红,如果我们要求不高,一小洼水边,一块土下,一个浅浅的牛蹄窝里,都能安排好一生的日子。针尖小的一丝阳光便暖热身子,头发细的一丝清风,便让我们凉爽半个下午。
我们不要家具,不要床,困了你睡在我身上,我睡在一粒发芽的草籽上,梦中我们被两只手一样的蓓蕾捧起来,越举越高,醒来时就到夏天了。
扇扇双翅,我要到花花绿绿的田野中转一趟。一朵叫紫娴的花上你睡午觉,另一朵叫红媚的花儿在头顶撑着凉棚。谁也不惊动你,紫色的花粉粘满身子,红色的花粉落进梦里。等我转一圈回来,拍拍屁股,宝贝,快起来,该怀孕生子了,东边那片麦茬地里空荡荡,看不见一个我们的孩子。
如果不嫌轻,小红,我们还可以像两股风一样过日子。春天的早晨你从东边的那条山谷吹过来,我从南边那片田野刮过去。
我们遇到一起变成一股风。是两股抱在一起的风。
我们吹开花朵不吹起一粒尘土。当更大更猛的风刮过田野,我们在哗哗的叶子声里藏起了自己,不跟他们刮往远处。
围着村子,一根树枝上的红布条够你吹动一个下午。一把旧镰刀上的斑驳尘锈够我们拂拭一辈子。生活在哪儿停住,哪儿就有锈迹和累累尘土。我们吹不动更重的东西。
石磨盘下的天空草地。
压在深厚墙基下的金子银子。
还有更沉重的这片村庄田野的百年心事。
也许,吹响了一片叶子,摇落一粒草籽,吹醒一只眼睛里的天空大地――这些永恒的卑小事情,才让我们想变成一股风。
可是,我还是喜欢一片叶子下的安闲日子,叶子下面怀孕,叶子上产子。
如果我们死了,就收回我们快乐忙碌的四肢,一动不动躺在那里。不要把我们的死亡告诉孩子们。他们面对的只是一代一代的生活下去。死亡仅仅是我们的事情。
如果我们不死。只有头顶的叶子黄落下去,身下的叶子也黄落下去。落叶铺满秋天的道路。下雪前我们搭乘拉禾杆的牛车回到村子。天渐渐冷了。我们不穿冬衣。长一身毛。你长一身红毛,我长一身黑毛。一红一黑站在雪地上。太冷了就到老鼠洞穴蚂蚁洞穴避寒几日。
不想过冬天也可以,选一个隐蔽处昏然睡去,一直睡到春暖草绿。睁开眼,我会不会已经不认识你,你会不会被西风刮到河那边的陌生田野里。冬眠前我们最好手握手面对面,最好紧抱在一起。春天最早的阳光从东边照过来,会先照暖你小小的身子。如果你先醒了,坐起来等我一会儿。太阳照到我的脸上我就醒来,动动身体,睁开眼睛,看见你正一口一口吹我身上的尘土。
又一年春天了。你说。
又一年春天了。我说。
我们在城里的房子是否已被拆除?在城里的车是否已经丢了轱辘?城里的朋友,是否全变成老鼠,顺着墙根溜出街市,跑到村庄田野里?
你说,等他们全变成老鼠了,我们再回去。
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